Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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