tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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