There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
