i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
