My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
