i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
