I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
