Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
