yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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