I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
