Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
