ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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