my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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