im about as happy as oj after his trial
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize