We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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