Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I lost the right to judge tonight
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
