I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
