he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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