dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
