all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
