i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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