when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
