The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Im part way to drunk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Panties = found
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