I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
