Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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