You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
