Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
