I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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