I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
