I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
