I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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