there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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