just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
