here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
