I think i peed on brittanys purse
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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