Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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