I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
