Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
