I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Rumble strips road head = magical
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
