So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
