and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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