Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
