They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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