no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
