i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
