Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
