i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
