Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
