Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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