your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
