Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
