How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize