My friends, they love my intelligence
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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