you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
